Sunday, December 14, 2014

Everyday Yoga Ebook!

To keep with the mission of Holistic Life RN Yoga Therapy,  I'd like to offer a free ebook with tips for implementing yoga into your daily life. Please read and share :)

Monday, December 1, 2014

Easy meditation to calm frustration

Yesterday after being out shopping all day and having a pretty good day, I walked into my house and was instantly annoyed. My good mood went away because I had forgotten I left all the clutter on the kitchen counters, left dirty dishes in the sink, and to top it all off the trash needed emptying. As I type this now, I am embarrassed at how angry I was lol.

Well, there is a bright side of this post. Once I realized how angry I was, I started cleaning. Before I knew it my kitchen looked lovely and I was able to put away all the stuff we had just brought. Even though my mood was a little better, I still felt uptight, annoyed, and frustrated. I decided to go outside, its something about being outside that always instantly lifts my mood.

I was so angry that I walked out of the house without a coat! But it wasn't too cold, about 45 degrees so it wasn't too bad. Anyways, I started walking around my back yard feeling the crunching of the leaves, looking at the green grass underneath, and breathing in the crisp fresh air. Instantly I felt better, comforted, and calm. So much so, that I took a little seat outside near my raised garden. I sat for about 3 minutes and enjoyed a little breathing and then meditation.
while I was enjoying my meditation, my husband decided to spy on me and capture the moment :)

Here are some tips for the easy meditation I enjoyed :)

- Find a place free of distractions
-Sit comfortably
-make sure your back is straight and your shoulders and neck are comfortable
-close your eyes, or lower your gaze (look down at your nose or feet)
-take notice of your breathing pattern at rest; breathing normally
-if you become distracted, take 3-5 deep breaths in and out
-any thoughts that surface, just acknowledge them but don't entertain them
-end your meditation with 3 deep breaths  followed by stretching the arms above the head, finally letting them rest at your heart center

Monday, November 24, 2014

Weekly Update

The weeks are just flying by and I can't believe thanksgiving is this thursday!

Last week was of course very busy, I had a few papers due for school, worked my usual 3 12s, did a few things for my business, and wrote my third article for I also had yoga teacher training saturday and since I haven't been constantly practicing asana as much as I should (I've been focusing on meditation and pranayama) I was super sore from class saturday. Saturday was our 8th meeting so we are almost halfway through our training. Our director mentioned that after christmas break our schedule will be very busy, but I sooooo look forward to it. Our homework assignment was to create a sequence about 15 minutes long. This will be easy for me since Ive always made up my own sequences. This time however, I am gonna write it out, and be sure to include warm-ups that are appropriate for the postures I will include. I am also gonna write out the benefits, contraindications, and modifications for the postures. I just think doing so will help my learning and will help with my therapeutic focus.

Outside of yoga school, I have been job searching again. lol I miss home care and wish I didn't resign. I know I had to resign because I was way too busy, but a part of me wishes I would have just stuck with it.  My full-time job has been really, really busy and Im beginning to be reminded of the reasons I started looking for another job last year. Its not just my job, its the travel time and to be honest I am just tired of spending 14+hrs away from home 3 days a week. I actually started entertaining positions in nursing education, even though I am not halfway finished my program, I figure someone may hire me :) I won't be officially applying anytime soon however, maybe for fall 2015. I also plan on returning  to home care then.  I like to write and make my little plans because its always cool to look back and see where you came from.

I mentioned I have been meditating more, the great thing about meditation is that it can really clear your mind and help develop creative energy and inspiration to do anything you may want to do (at least for me this happens) Anyways, after a meditation last week, I got an idea to create an ebook. I have been trying to think of ways to offer something for my business outside of providing yoga because so far thats been a little slow. I felt like maybe people first needed to learn that it doesn't take much to practice yoga. I wanted  people to see how easy it is to practice yoga whenever and wherever and experience the benefits of yoga. So I started working on my ebook and I am almost finished! It will be short and sweet, but loaded with beneficial content. It is basically how I have been practicing yoga the past few years. I was never a studio yogi, but my home practice has been amazing and has and continues to influence my life is such a dramatic positive way. So without further due, heres my cover :) The actual book will be ready soon!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Daily yoga

I was looking through my pictures from last year and found so many treasures. I am guilty of taking so many selfies but I, also still a little self conscious so I don't share too much. However, this blog doesn't see too much traffic and I feel this is a safe place to share pictures that are a little more "intimate". I also don't have to worry about who "likes" my pictures as often when I post to Instagram I get caught up in seeing who likes my pics. If it's someone I don't know then the stalker in me finds ther page and when it's all said and done I've spent a good hour or so on Instagram.

Anyways, these few pictures will just show a glimpse into my daily practice at home. I practice yoga everyday all day. Whether it's a few minutes of breathing exercises, or a sun salutation while cooking, meditation before bed, etc. it's incorporating into my daily life and this is how yoga has come to transform me, mind, body, and spirit. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Accepting what is and where you are

This is a lesson I am working on this weekend. My mind has been busy searching and researching trying to find my "next big thing" I've talked about it before, but I have so many things I want to accomplish and get started. Ive always had the "I want it right now" attitude as well as the "I need to do more" I don't know why I am feeling like this right now, but it is my reality. So how I am getting myself out of this messy little cloud????

1. I need to take a little break from social media, or just stop comparing where I am with everyone else. I follow a lot of yogis, holistic nurses, nurse entrepreneurs etc on social media. For the most part, i gain so much knowledge and inspiration from them. But on days like today where, i am obviously a little off balance, I get envious and wonder why I am not where they are. I know in my heart that I am where I am supposed to be right now and I also know that where I am is ok, I know my time is coming. But the mind likes to play these little games sometimes. Right now, my mind is trying to convince me that  " I need more and I need to do more" My higher self knows this is not true.

2. Focus on the present moment. If I could just step away from the computer for a few minutes and realize what is going on right now in my life, I would easily see that the present moment is beautiful. After all, I am completing my yoga teacher training program, having great success in my graduate classes and  Ive even been able to make time for a consistent home yoga practice of about 20-40 minutes a few times a week.

3. One thing at a time. I need to be more consistent with this. With all my searching and researching, Im already thinking about what my next class, certification, or project will be. I am promising myself today that I will accept where I am and finish what I am working on right now!

See even holistic nurses and yogis get out of whack! I am thankful for my yoga practice and holistic practices that help me to find my center when things get thrown off :)

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Nurse Author

In my last post I spoke a little bit about being a contributing author. A few months ago, I got the idea to inquire about nurse writing opportunities. Since taking graduate classes, blogging, writing, and sharing more I became inspired to go the extra mile. responded to my inquiry and was very excited to have someone write about holistic nursing and yoga! I couldn't believe what I was reading as again, I am always very critical of my work. Anyways, so far Ive written two articles, they are somewhat similar to what I have shared here on the blog. I am very excited  and thankful to spread holistic nursing and yoga to even more nurses than I could ever reach on my own.

Heres a link to my profile on the site :)

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Unexpected yoga.... the best practice

This morning after dropping my son off my mind was racing a thousand miles per hour. I was thinking about my 3rd graduate class I registered for and whether or not I really feel like going through with it, worried about how am I gonna make time for it. I knew I needed to clear my mind and get grounded yet I did not feel like practicing asana.

I decided to sit in meditation for ten minutes. Prior to meditation I prayed and set the intention for me to be shown what it is I am supposed to be doing with myself. I keep going back and forth between postponing grad school until I am finished with YTT, but at the same time I am learning so much in grad school and discovering so many opportunities. Grad school so far along with yoga and meditation is really opening my eyes to what I believe my ultimate goal is. Its funny because I really do enjoy writing and the assignments for grad school.  Most of the time I can relate assignments to holistic nursing and/or yoga :) The main issue is time management, of course my time is tight but I have to remember what my dear friend told me one day... " i have just enough time to do everything that is important to me".  Whenever I think about that, I calm down and realize that it is true. My other issue is worrying that I may not do "good enough" I will be so glad when this doesnt bother me as much, lol I know I will do just fine, because that has been my history, but the mind likes to try and play games  sometimes.

Anyways, back to the point. After meditation my body naturally decided to do a little cat/dog flow, after that I did a few more warm ups, then standing poses, cobra, locust, wind-releiving, and then a 12 minute savasana!  The asana part was not planned!  After meditating, I guess thats what  I needed so I just went with it. Once my practice was over, I felt so light, calm, and less "flighty". I am still not 100% sure grad school is what I am supposed to be doing right now, but something inside of me says to keep going.  I will just have to learn to be a little more confident and manage my time for effectively.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Another "A"

Finally, a week after my research class ended, my instructor posted our grades. This was a seven week course online- graduate level research. Now, for the record, I love research and writing but this class was so much work! I couldn't wait for it to end. Many times during the course I was overwhelmed trying to get assignments completed in time. But one thing remained constant, every single time I received feedback either from my classmates or grades from my instructor and even just reviewing my own finished product, I felt so proud and accomplished.  This class along with many other factors gave me the inspiration and confidence to begin to share my writings. 

Recently, I contacted  a few nursing/holistic websites for information on being a contributing author. To my suprise, so far I've made one contact and will be posting my writings to their site soon😊

As I sit here this morning drinking my coffee ,I felt the urge to get this blog out. I never really wanted to stop my grad school classes but realize my life is very busy at this time. However, since acquiring my new role as a contributing author and receiving yet another "A" in a graduate level class, I'm ready to register for another course. I am finally seeing the potential that an advanced degree can bring. Not only professionally, but it's starting to matter to me on a personal level. I can't explain how proud I am recieving such positive feedback throughout my recent courses. I've admitted before, I have that history of always doubting myself and thinking "I'm not good enough" Thank God for yoga because that mindset is slowly transitioning to one of "I can do whatever I put my mind to"

So, grad classes start today, but I know it's my vata being off balance that's making think I should rush and register for another class....even though I know my plate is already pretty full....

Saturday, October 25, 2014

What can we learn from our SAPS (stress, anxiety, pain, suffering)

I have always believed that pain is present to teach us a lesson. Disease, especially I believe is the bodies way of letting us know that we did not pay enough attention to earlier, subtle signs from the body. Disease also is the bodies way of crying out for help and attention. Nothing gets our attention faster than pain or recent diagnosis of chronic disease.

Personally, I have had my own battles with stress, pain, anxiety, and suffering. I talk all about it in my  yoga story . I was successful in relieving a lot of my back pain, digestive symptoms, stress, and anxiety.

Currently, I have been facing some chest discomfort for months now. Its not severe enough to convince me that its something serious. I had a visit with my nurse practitioner who seems to think my chest pain is related to my relax. Over the summer, I started eating any and everything, more fast food, tons of coffee,etc. I was also very busy over the summer, always traveling here and there. Around July, in addition to my chest discomfort, I started having reflux again and trouble swallowing. This is what prompted me to seek my NP. I was given scrip for omeprazole. I never finished the 30 day treatment, but I did go back to eating healthier and decreasing my stress.

Here we are in October and I still have the chest discomfort. It seems to only surface while I am at work, or when I am expressing a lot of emotion (good or bad). Since my healing touch session wednesday and learning that my throat chakra was off balance, I began to learn more about the throat chakra. The throat chakra is all about communication, speaking your truth and listening to others. I have to say I am not the best with communication, historically I hold back how I feel and can never really get my words out verbally. I have been journaling more, and blogging more over the last year. I have also started to share more about myself and my truths with the world. I can remember being embarrassed to talk about holistic nursing and yoga at work. I was so worried about what people would think about me. I thought they wouldn't recognize my specialty and think of me as "less than" Somewhere over the last few months, I stopped worrying about what anyone would think and began to share all that I am passionate about. Creativity and expressing creativity is another characteristic of the throat chakra. I have never been creative, I remember dreading arts and crafts in school, again I always thought I wouldn't do as great of a job as everyone else.  Even to this day, I get a little nervous when I have to do something with arts. However, I have learned to express my creativity  in other ways, my hair, styling my daughters hair, blogging, writing, picture editing, etc. Ive also designed my business cards and flyers for my private practice.

Exploring the throat chakra is bringing up a lot of things that helps me understand why that chakra was off balance. As far as the chest pain, its pretty high in my chest, right around my esophagus. Way in my upper chest, which I  think is part of the throat chakra. I sometimes wonder if I am experiencing this chest discomfort because I am finally communicating, finally expressing myself, and finally being creative. I feel like I must have a ton of energy thats just trapped! Im getting some of it out, in the ways I mentioned above, but theres so much more creative energy left. This makes sense to me since I am on a mission to build my private practice!  I have some nay ideas and things I want to accomplish, but sometimes I feel a little trapped... either by my full-time job, fear, laziness, etc.

It is now my daily mission to get some of my creative energy out every day!

Listening.... I almost forgot to speak on this subject. I have never been a good listener. I am one of those people who prepare their response while the other person is talking. I am always anxious to get my little $0.02 out, even though most of the time I don't know what to say or how to get it out! I have to learn to be a better listener. My husband and children always say to me "let me finish" before I go blabbing off! So another mission for me will be to actively listen~

"Creating calm in your heart, creates calm in your patients"

My favorite quote from Annette Tersigni. Yesterday I had a patient recovering from abdominal surgery. She was going home post procedure. The anesthesiologist only ordered IV fentanyl ( strong short-lived narcotic) because she felt as though IV dilaudid (strong longer-lived narcotic) may delay her going home. I disagreed with the doctor but since my patient arrived very sleepy, I thought I would be able to get away with just giving her IV fentanyl . My patient was very drowsy, she wouldn't open her eyes and barely spoke to me, but when I asked her if she had pain she would say yes and rate it 9/10. Now to the eyes she looked very comfortable, but something told me to treat her pain anyway, so I did. I ended up giving her multiple doses of fentanyl and it just wasn't working. She began to clench her fist and tears were rolling down her eyes. Although she still wouldn't open her eyes or really talk to me, I believed her pain. I knew she wasn't too drowsy to handle more narcotics. I then called the on call anesthesiologist and explained the case and requested IV dilaudid for her. As I was pushing the IV dilaudid, I touched her shoulder and explained to her that she needed to try to slow down her breathing. She was breathing almost 30x/min (normal 8-20)! I let her know that the heavy fast breathing was only making her pain worse as she was using more of her abdominal muscles. At this time, I also realized I needed to take some deep breaths. I was becoming frustrated with her because I had already given her a ton of IV fentanyl, she was still sleepy, and I started to think I would never get her pain under control. I was also frustrated that she wouldn't communicate with me the way I wanted. I wanted her to open her eyes and talk, I wanted her to wake up and sit up so that she could begin to take liquids and pain pills. I started thinking, "she's never gonna go home"

After realizing how frustrated I was, I began to think my negativity isn't good for her. I wasn't providing a healing environment because my thoughts were not good. I was not focused on the task at hand. I was so worried about "how am I gonna get her home" that I wasn't focusing on what was going on with her right now. As I encouraged her to take slow deep breaths, I did too. Soon after the IV dilaudid and a little deep breathing, she closed her eyes and fell asleep for about 10 minutes. When she woke up, she opened her eyes, asked for a drink, and even scooted herself up in bed unassisted. Her respirations were down to 11/minute and she looked so much better!

Within the next hour she was discharged! I couldn't help but have a smile on my face because I knew I did the right thing for her. I know the narcotics played a major role in her pain control, but Im sure the deep breathing and the change in my attitude helped as well.

As a recovery room nurse, I don't have the chance to practice actual yoga postures with my patients. I have been practicing breathing with them however. After all, on our flowsheet one of the nursing interventions is "encourage deep breathing". Breathing or pranayama or "Sacred breath"(yoga nursing term) is often the most beneficial component of a yoga practice, well of any type of healing. I can't think of any situation in patient care or my personal practice where a few deep breaths ever did any harm. It brings calms in our patients allowing their medications to work better for them. It also helps them clear the anesthesia and medications given, as exhaling is a way of the body releasing whatever is no longer serving us :)

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Everyday Yoga

This afternoon I had the pleasure of practicing yoga while I waited for my daughters school bus. Normally I leave my house at 3:50 and she arrives by 4:00, however today there was construction on our main road which led her to not arrive until 4:15.

It was chilly outside and for the first 2 minutes I was irritable and contemplating going back to the house to get my car and wait in the car. I decided to take a seat on the grass and just chill out. It seems the second I sat down, my body somehow became warm. I no longer felt like I was freezing, and I no longer worried when she would arrive. I knew all was well. I had no idea what time she would arrive because the day before my husband said her bus didn't make it to our house until 4:30. I didn't care though, I sat on the grass feeling the occasional warmth from the sun, listened to the birds and insects,  and felt the cool wind blowing. All of these things kept me in the present moment. I naturally felt like it was a good time to meditate. I began by just watching my breath, just feeling the breath move in and out and noticing how my body felt. I felt calm, warm, and present. The sounds of nature and the sun and wind kept me present. I believe I felt warm when I sat down on the grass because the earth has healing potentials. The earth's vibration warmed my body. I couldn't help but keep a soft smile as I sat and just let myself "be".

I titled this post "everyday yoga" because this is what it is. You don't need a studio, yoga mat, or fancy poses to practice yoga.  I went from feeling cold, irritable, and annoyed to warm, calm, and happy with just breathing and becoming present. Yoga is all about finding stillness, finding peace, becoming present. I hope this post inspires you all to realize and practice everyday yoga when the opportunity presents :)

And now, heres a picture of my beautiful little girl :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My first healing touch session

A few weeks ago I met with my instructor from my level 1 Healing Touch class. She introduced me to a healing touch practitioner and yoga teacher in my area. I tried scheduling appointments with her twice before but something always came up. Well, last week we arranged to meet today and I thought again something would come up to keep me from meeting her. I did feel a little sick yesterday with aches and pains and a sore throat. I thought for sure I would have to cancel the appointment. This morning I woke up and still felt a little sick but much better than the yesterday. I decided to go for my appointment.  This was my first session!  Ive practiced healing touch at home for my own self care, but haven't had the opportunity to receive a full treatment.

I arrive at the location and could almost feel the positive energy from the sidewalk. I didn't feel an ounce of nervousness or anxiety. I had never met this women in person and had no idea what the experience would be like, but at the same time I knew everything was ok and I was right where I was supposed to be. We meet and instantly I feel like I had known her for years!

Before the session started, she asked a few questions to see if I had any physical or emotional issues I wanted to focus on today. I told her Ive had mild occasional chest pain related to heartburn for months now, although it wasn't bothering me at the moment. I didn't have any real active issues, I just wanted the experience.

Once on the table, I set the intention to allow myself to receive whatever I needed and to let go of whatever I didn't need. The session was 45minutes but it felt so much shorter, when she let me know it was over by calling my name and tapping my feet, I felt like I was waking up from a very restorative nap. I felt light and giddy, so much so that I kinda stumbled getting off the table. We sat and chatted and she let me know which chakras were "compromised" on her initial assessment. She assured me after her intervention ( spiral meditation and chakra connection) that all of my chakras were in beautiful flow. The chakras that were compromised were throat, sacral, solar plexus, and left hip. I could understand why each one of them was! My throat had been sore the day before so that made perfect sense. My solar plexus has been an issue for me for a while, I still have problems with digestion (occasionally) and I am can be very self- conscious at times. The sacral chakra had me a little confused at first because I couldn't immediately identify what could have that off balance. But after thinking, I realized I am still very shy when it comes to discussing anything sexual. Its like Im almost embarrassed to talk about it (lol). Finally, my left hip. This made perfect sense because I have L sided sciatica! Now, my sciatica wasn't bothering me this morning and hardly ever bothers me (like it used to) but I couldn't believe how accurate my energy fields were. It was just such an amazing experience.

From this day on, I will work on the chakras that were compromised as well as continue to listen to my inner teacher for guidance and answers. I am still somewhat concerned about my chest pain and was shocked to learn that my heart chakra wasn't out of balance.  A compromised throat chakra could cause some chest discomfort as this charka is related to the esophagus amongst other organs.  I guess I will be speaking up more and speaking my truth more towards myself and others!

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Yoga with coworkers

Recently, I had been thinking about sharing yoga with my coworkers. Months ago, actually almost a year ago I started sharing basic poses with coworkers who were interested. This was before yoga nurse essentials and before my yoga teacher training. I always knew I wanted to mix yoga and nursing. Now, because I write and take pictures of everything, I searched my old files to find my recording of it. Here's the little note I captured on my phone from that day: 
   A little yoga with coworkers this am
Forward fold

Everyone felt "looser" one told me she felt like it put her in a good mood

I felt like I was breathing easier 

What's even more ironic about me bringing this up, is the fact that last week I mentioned to one of my coworkers that I was gonna start bringing my mat to work and practicing a few poses, meditation, or breathing during part of my lunch break. She asked if I had a mat I could bring for her! We then went to search our new second unit because there's a small vacant storage room.... The room was full of crap but we weren't discouraged. We headed back up to our unit and asked my assistant nurse manager for help, she was very supportive and said I could practice wherever and we could always move the storage items while we practice! That day I left so excited!!! Now randomly, I recorded a video today on my phone and sent it to my ipad to edit. Now because I often do this, when the message arrived to my ipad, an old thread posted as well with the picture from the day I practiced yoga with my coworkers! I had forgotten all about that picture until last week when I started making plans for yoga at work. I thought the picture was lost in cyber space forever. 

All of this is to say that everything happens for a reason and there's always signs that the universe is working in our favor.  

Yoga Nursing and Yoga teacher training

This morning I had a lovely yoga practice. Reecently, I have been contemplating obtaining Yoga Nurse Certification. Since Ive already shared how I feel, my graduate studies aren't really fitting well into my life right now, I won't beat that horse again. But, I have to say since Ive made closure with the decision to postpone my graduate studies, I have been thinking and feeling that I must continue what I am passionate about. Since starting my yoga teacher training, Ive also become more drawn to eventually becoming a yoga therapist. What better way to become a yoga therapist than with yoga nurse certification? I completed the yoga nurse online essentials just a few months ago, but that training was so powerful and was the push that I needed to realize I can and should take yoga teacher training. The course also helped me realize that I can start my own business/private practice! I just completed a full yoga nurse session, I started with sacred breath, then movement, and did that final 20 minute long sacred relaxation. Throughout the whole practice, my mind kept exploring yoga nursing and my connection to it. It wasn't in an obsessive way, but almost like a little voice inside of me encouraging me to explore it. FInally, I just want to share a little bit about yoga teacher training. For my training I am supposed to practice yoga about 200 minutes a week and practice "teaching" The poses Ive learned so far in YTT are the exact poses included in yoga nurse essentials (give or take a few). Anyways, yoga nurse essentials has been a great review for my YTT and helped me articulate teaching! Another confirmation that I need to pursue yoga nurse certification!

Friday, October 3, 2014

You are number 1

I worked nightshift last night. I hate night shift as one shift knocks me completely off my game that it takes me a couple days to recover. Anyways, I  made plans to take my mom out after I'd slept a few hrs... Well by the time I got off, I had been awake for basically 24hrs straight. I decided to cancel our plans. I forgot my change of clothes and I was just too exhausted. Even with a few hours of sleep, I knew my body needed to go home. I felt guilty driving home especially because my mom let me know how disappointed she was. My kids were also off from school,so we were all gonna go out. Not only did I let my mom down but my kids as well. As I drove home I listened to my mind bash me  with words like " selfish, lazy, inconsiderate " . I felt so bad I almost considered going home and then going back out after I slept...mind you I live about 30 miles from my mom.

I got home and instantly felt less tired and suddenly, I didn't feel guilty anymore.  I rationalized that not only was it not safe to stay out after not getting any sleep,  but I would have also cheated myself and family out of a authentic good time. If I would have stuck to the original plan, I would have been doing so out of guilt. Most likely I would have been impatient and moody the whole time. This is just some of the negative reactions that are present when we don't put ourselves first. I used to feel embarrassed to take up for myself and listen and honor my body, but not anymore. I realize my body almost always knows best, (yours does too!) I am very thankful for my yoga practice because this is a perfect example of how yoga helps you in day to day life. Yoga is all about union, the union of the mind body and spirit. This morning my mind was upset and worried about hurting everyone's feelings, my spirit wasn't in synch,I felt torn and a little sad,my body was exhausted and begging me to go home and sleep! 

Again, as soon as I  drove onto my driveway, I started to feel the relaxation begin. I naturally walked over to a sunny spot and sat in a small pile of leaves. I sat for about five minutes feeling the sun, listening to the birds and the wind, smelling the fresh air, and literally feeling my mind body and spirit relax
 Next I went inside, took a shower, and fell asleep! The rest of my day went smoothly and my mind, body, and spirit continued to work well as one. As I finish up this post, I would just like to stress the importance again of listening to your body and putting yourself first. The putting yourself first may sound  selfish, but it isn't. We can not be our best selves if we ignore what we first need. We can't help or take care of anyone unless we've got it together.

Thursday, October 2, 2014


For months I had been contemplating resigning from my home care job. It's a very hard decision because I love spending one on one time with patients and teaching. I love being outside and driving around on my own schedule. Unfortunately, with my full time job, yoga teacher training, grad school, and my family I had to let something go. I handed in my resignation today and it's bitter sweet. I'm happy to have more free time but feel somewhat like a failure. I hate to "quit", even though I know it's not about being a quitter. I will miss home care nursing and would still love to venture into home care in the future. I can say that I learned so much and I think the experience will help a lot when I ready to start my private practice. 

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Grad school break again?

Its 11pm and I am pretty tired. I sat down to finish an assignment for my Graduate Nursing Research class, but I just cant seem to focus on it. Maybe its because Im tired, maybe its because I know I still have 24hrs until its due, or maybe I'd rather be doing something else. That something else being focusing on me. I used to feel so embarrassed for taking all of this "me time" but its nothing to be embarrassed about. After all I spend the majority of my time caring for others so I am entitled to at least a 1/4 of that time for myself. Back to the topic of this post, while I have been somewhat enjoying my research class I cant wait for it to be over. I was initially registered for a class during next semester but I dropped it and Im glad I did. I think I am gonna put grad school on hold again until I finish my yoga teacher training. I feel like I need to focus on one thing at a time. YTT doesn't really require a lot of monitored class/homework, but it does require an immense amount of self work. I am supposed to be completing 215minutes of yoga weekly, in addition to assigned readings, and practicing teaching what I have learned with family or friends. Now of course, my instructor really wont know if Im doing what I am supposed to, but i want to do it for myself. I want to truly continue to learn, and heal myself so that I can share what I love with others. With all that said, I am promising myself that grad school can wait. When I think about whats important to me and my career, getting my MSN isn't important as I have said before, Im just getting it because its free and it may come in handy one day. I do love research and writing and would love to work that into my future, but I know that I can do those things now without an advanced degree. Back to whats important to me... heres the list - completing yoga teacher training -building my client base -attending workshops -connecting and building relationships with like- minded professionals -yoga retreat -holistic nursing certification -level II HT class -500 YTT see MSN doesn't really fit in right now. I plan on picking it back up in fall 2015. This is the date I had originally planned for as my youngest child would finally be in kindergarten! That will give me 6hrs to work on assignments while the kids are in school and even time for me to do other things I enjoy. Lastly, I must remind myself that everything comes in due time. I want so badly to get all those things done on my list above but I know that when the time is right it will happen. I know that I am exactly where I need to be!

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Busy start to september!

But in a very good way! SO many exciting things are going on with me now!! I wanted to do a quick post to capture some of it 1. my Facebook like page is so far a success! Ive gotten many compliments and folks are asking for advice and just sharing in my excitement :) 2. Since making the FB page, it inspired me to also create a poster to offer services. I haven't handed them out yet, but I figured I should at least learn how to make one. This prepares me for advertising, since lets face reality I am a nurse entrepreneur! (in the making) 3. I did a podcast!! I was contacted a few weeks ago after someone found me on social media. heres a link 4. grad school is off to a good start. Im keeping up with assignments and don't feel too stressed about it 5. i had YOGA TEACHER TRAINING orientation! As I sat in the class i couldn't believe I was actually living my dream. I felt cry comfortable and knew that I was in the right place at the right time with the right people :) 6.I am still practicing yoga daily. same as before a little meditation here, a little asana, conscious eating and decision making, being kind to everyone, and trying to decrease my attachment of things. Stay tuned for more info on all of my exciting adventures. I have my first yoga teacher training class saturday!!! :)

Friday, August 22, 2014

Facebook "like" page

This has been something I wanted to do for a couple years now. I initially set up a "like" page in 2011 when I started my locs. I never posted or used the page. the timing/ reasoning just wasn't right. Yesterday, I "free-styled" my first yoga video. As I mentioned I decided to take the yoga nursing online essentials course. Its been a couple weeks since I started the training and yesterday I started wondering how was I ever gonna share what I learned. I spent a good part of the morning yesterday going crazy looking for people who have also completed the training to see how they are implementing it. Finally the guru in me whispered "just do it" it made sense! If I wanted to start sharing what I learned and know, I just needed to do it. I recored my video on my back porch in pajamas with my hair just as it was when I woke up. Long story short, I didnt dress up for the video. Like Beyonce says "I woke up like this" lol Anyways, I recorded a 12 minute video and it came with ease, the words just flowed. I sent the video to my 2 of biggest supporters my sister and one of my BFFS. The watched and practiced the video and sent feedback! All in a few hours! I was so thankful and also inspired. Especially because these two although they support me, they have consistently said that "they can't do yoga" Well they did it! My heart was so happy and tears came to my eyes as I read their positive feedback. Now here we are 24hrs later and back to the reason for this post. I finally created my "like" page. I want to share what I am passionate about. I know that if I could get my sister and friend to do yoga I could get many others who may feel "they can't do yoga" I was nervous of course to share the page, but I went for it. I worried about what content to post. Well my page has been active for a few hours and I have 11 likes! That may seem like a small number but it means sooooo much to me. As far as content, so far I went back to my instagram account and shared the photos I tagged #holisticlifern some of these photos are more than a year old! But this journey isn't new, its been and will continue to be a work in progress :)

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Healing Touch Level 1

February 2014

Just this past weekend I took my first healing touch class! For those of you how may not know what healing touch is, it's an energy based therapy where the practioner uses light touch or near body touch to place the client in the best position for self was created by a nurse Janet Mentgen and is the only nationally accredited energy therapy program. Healing touch is used in hospitals and Chemo therapy centers and there has been lots of research done to support its use. 

The point of this post is for me to share my experience :) I walked into the class and was initially nervous because I was the youngest in the class. I was welcomed by the instructor who was lovely and gave me a hug. I sat down and said hello to everyone and I think my nervousness dissipated before it really had a chance to start. We started off by introducing ourselves and what led us to healing touch. I was so surprised that even though we were all different, we all had something in common. We all listened to our curiosity and intuition and came out for the class.

Next we got right into the material, we started out by learning to do hand scans to assess each other's energy field. I struggled with this and couldn't tell if I was sensing anything. The only sensations I felt was coolness and I couldn't tell it it was just my cold hands or what. Next we learned hands in motion and hands still. Again, I couldn't tell if my work was effective while doing it, but my partner said she felt it. When it was my turn to be the client I had my "ahhhh hah" moment. I remember my partner having her hands on my neck or shoulder, maybe my head and actually feeling comforted and relaxed. I thought to myself... Wow this is real! This left me very excited for the rest of the class :)

After lunch we learned magnetic clearing, and focused on completing the 7 step healing touch sequence. I can't lie, at times I felt lazy and didn't want to do everything lol. But once I got started I enjoyed it. Magnetic clearing was amazing. As a client I let myself completely relax and didn't worry about anyone else in the class. I think I fell asleep while my partner was working on me. It was amazing, I felt so well rested and relaxed. Now when it was my turn to be the practioner providing magnetic clearing, I felt like it wasn't working and like I didn't know what I was doing. It was hard for me to relax my shoulder so this made my arms very tired. I also couldn't remember how I was suppose to hold my hand. I struggle though the whole treatment, but I kept the intention to provide the best environment for my client to receive the most good. It worked because she said she felt great afterwards!

I left the class full of ideas and just ready to "do the work". 

Friday, August 15, 2014

Being a preceptor

With all the changes and new employees on my unit, my time has come to be a preceptor. My first orientee was a young lady almost 6 months ago, she's like 24 and I'm 30 and I felt soooooo old! Lol I remember when I was the youngest nurse on the unit... Lol anyways my current orientee is again younger than me! Just by 2 years though. 

When I was first approached to precept I was hesitant. I'm very quiet and like to keep to myself at work. I wanted to say no both times, but I knew it was the right thing to do to say yes. After all as a holisitc nurse, what better way to share my passion and spread news about holisitic nursing than through orienting a new nurse. I hate to admit it,  but I seriously doubted my skills to be a good preceptor, I'm always so hard on myself and tend to think that I am not "good enough" I know it's terrible, but it's a big step for me to even say this out loud. My lack of confidence is the real reason why I didn't want to be a preceptor.

Little did I know, I am a wealth of information and inspiration. My oreintees are very pleased with me. One even said, "you're so calm and relaxed, I'm having so much fun, and learning at the same time" she made my heart smile!

Since precepting, I'm beginning to feel like " hey maybe I am making the right choice pursing nursing education" I have to say I am enjoying "teaching" :)

Monday, August 11, 2014

Yoga Nurse essentials course

I have to admit, I was a little skeptical when I bought the "yoga essentials" course. My thoughts were "only 7 postures are taught" I thought that wouldn't be "enough" you see one of my biggest problems involve my desire to always question if things are "enough".... but i won't get into that right now. The point of this post is to express how thankful I am for the yoga essentials course. Its only been few days and I can already tell that this program is going to help me achieve great things. As I may have mentioned before, Ive been practicing yoga for about 2.5yrs now. I am a self taught student, as Ive only been to 2 live classes and 1 workshop. I learn best from books and videos are helpful too :) Anyways, since I can "stand on my head" and do fancy poses i thought I would be bored with the basic 7 postures. Well let me first say, all this time I have been practicing I have never taken the time to sit and practice pranayama (breathing)! I also rarely include savasana (resting pose), but in these few days I have down both pranayama and savasana more than I have ever done in my personal practice of almost two years! Listening to Annetes audio on breathing, I could not believe how light and calm I felt, it was almost like instant joy!. For the first time I could actually feel my breath travel up from my belly to my ribs and then up to my collarbone. It was magnificent!!!! As for the essential postures, so far Ive only practiced the sitting postures. Again, I thought I knew it all when it came to these basic poses and said to myself " i will just follow the video so I will know how to explain it" well, little did I know that I would learn, benefit, and experience the poses as well. For instance, I never noticed how tight and stiff my neck was, following Annettes careful instruction getting into and out of poses I became aware of my neck issues. Now, I don't have any deficits/pain/injury, but I do have anxiety and stress in my daily life (as we all do whether one will admit it or not). Im assuming my stress and anxiety is trapped right in my neck! This gives me hope, as I look forward to continuing on with the yoga essentials course, hopefully my neck tightness will resolve :) Remember to be a healer, caregiver, nurse, yoga teacher, holistic care practitioner, wellness nurse, holistic nurse, etc we must first care and heal ourselves. I am so thankful that I am learning to do just that! Namaste

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Yoga and Nursing!!!!

Earlier this week I posted a topic "Yoga Teacher Training or MSN" to the holistic nurses group on Linkenin. I got a fair amount of advice, most said to do both! One lady named Kerry of mentioned I had seen this site numerous times but stayed away from it because I thought one had to already be a yoga teacher to take the training. Well Kerry was nice enough to take my number and call me to discuss yoga nursing as she is a certified yoga nurse. After speaking with her I decided I needed to take the yoga nurse essentials course! So a couple nights ago I paid for it and downloaded all the lovely content. So far Ive listened to a few of the audio tracks and could not believe that I didnt get bored! I have a history of a very short attention span where I can hardly watch or listen to anything (except music) for more than 2 minutes. lol Well Annette Tersigni (founder of yoga nursing) is amazing and kept my attention while also calming my mind. In fact, last night I listened to her 20 minute guided savasana, and for the first time in my yoga life I actually had a real savasana! Every since the day i spoke to Kerry about yoga nurse essentials I have woke up inspired and with yoga nursing on my mind! Im so excited to indulge in this program and first heal myself so that I will be able to share the yoga nurse essentials with my family, friends, patients, and whoever else may be interesed.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Maybe I'm supposed to be the change......

Last fall I started a homecare position with the goal of leaving my full time job. I was very unhappy with my position because I've been on a holistic journey and felt as though hospital nursing couldn't allow me to practice holistically. Over these last few months I have come to appreciate my job again and realized that maybe I'm suppose to bring the change I want to see in my hospital. I also realized my nursing care is always holistic, I aim to care for my patients mind, body, and spirit. That kind of holistic care starts within. This holistic journey has helped me so much with self acceptance and self love, when I am balanced and practice self care I am truly able to provide holistic care. My holistic journey has also helped me visualize and acknowledge my full potential and what I believe to be my calling. With all this said, I want to document my goals and visions for my hospital nursing job.

- I've already done mini yoga sessions with coworkers, unofficially. I'd love to practice with them more often. But in order for me to do that, I think I need to share my yoga photos on social media again. Even though I feel like it's sometimes being a show off, it actually inspires so many people. Especially those close to me. 

- I also want to introduce healing touch to my coworkers. We work in a truly stressful chaotic environment and if I can offer just five minute sessions, I think it would make a difference.

-eventually I would want to expand yoga and healing touch throughout the hospital. But, just like anything else, I have to start small. I actually have to look at myself as my first client again and continue to practice these self care practices myself

-lastly, I decided to again enroll I graduate school. This time I will complete it lol. After thinking about grad school vs yoga training over the past few days, I decided that I need to take advantage of a free education while I can. I also would rather do yoga training in a retreat setting. I can put formal training on hold until I complete my graduate degree. Im not yet sure what exactly I want to do with my degree but a few ideas I have are
      - research 
       - create holistic care course for nurses
        - teach undergrad holistic nursing or maybe fundamentals of nursing

To sum this post up, I just want to add that I feel very blessed and happy to have my hospital nursing job. It's so weird saying this when just a few months ago I was ready to quit! I'm also very thankful for my yoga practice because I think that is what helped me realize my potential.

I added this picture, as it was taken yesterday. It was mid morning and the grass was still a little damp, the sun was shinning and I just stood there feeling everything. I also listened to the sounds of nature and felt the grass, the sun, and the light breeze  calm and clear my head. I always make the best decisions after consulting the universe :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The ups and downs of home care May 7 2014

My agency has been very slow! I haven't worked a full day in a couple of months, but that doesn't mean the excitement is gone. A few weeks ago while on call I did an admission on a fragile lil older person. I arrive to the home and find the patient lethargic with a very wet sounding cough. The family assures me the patient was discharged from the skilled nursing facility in this condition.i proceed with the admission, but when I went to assess her, I thought her lungs would sound ok, I thought the wet cough was just secretions she wasn't quite bringing up. What I heard was nothing but crackles, rales, wheezes, etc. her pulse of was pretty low too around 88-90% I decided to call 911 and send her to the emergency room. Two days later when I return to work I find out the patient passed away that same day!!! Fast forward to today, I go out for a home health admission only to find out that the patient and family rather have hospice. It's a much better fit for them. I was in the home for an hr. Since I didn't "admit" the patient I only get paid my hourly rate... Kinda sucks for me but I'm thankful I'm still employed full time and have the opportunity to experience home health per diem :)

Sunday, May 4, 2014

I am a holistic nurse

I dream of and claim the day that I can wear yoga clothes all day and practice yoga, qigong, and healing touch as my job. I am a holistic nurse! It's a way of being. When I see a patient, I see a whole person and realize that I need to be fully present and address not only the physical condition but the mind and spirit as well. I aim for whole person healing. I am aware of the energy I bring and hope that my energy, presence, and duties as a nurse will place the patient in the best position to be healed. I hope to suggest alternative therapies that I am knowledgeable in based on patient to patient basis. Not every patient will be receptive to alternative therapies, but that doesn't mean the holistic nursing care stops. Again, holistic nursing is a way of being. Not so much something you do. As I continue my holistic life journey and take more continuing education I will obtain my certification as a holistic nurse :)

Friday, March 7, 2014

The importance of grounding and centering

March 2014

I wasn't sure how else to title this. I spent the day doing homecare and had 3 patients to visit. As I have said before I'm always anxious on days that I work homecare. I sometimes think I'm gonna get a mean patient or I'm not gonna get home in time to meet my daughter. So many things go through my mind. From reading this one would think "why do home care" lol the answer is always once I stop making assumptions and worring about everything my days are always fine. 

Well today I got lost for the first time. I didn't realize I needed to specify the zip code in my gps. Normally it doesn't matter but it just so happens the patient I was going to see today address was pretty common, same address, same city ,but different zip code! Lol I arrive at the wrong address and instead of a house... There's a park lol. I called the patient and she gives me directions. I'm terrible with directions and pretty bad listening to them verbally. To make this more interesting when I described where I was I told the patient a fire station was at the corner, so she gives me directions. Turns out her actual address indeed had a fire station on the corner as well. Lol it took me a good twenty minutes to stop driving in circles and trying different gps programs. I pulled into a parked lot, took a deep breath and told myself to calm down and think. After taking a moment to ground myself I looked back at the gps and seen that I didn't put the zip in, so I added the patients zip code and BOOM! I got the right directions. When I arrived to see my patient there was metered parking and again I started getting anxious worrying if the visit went too long my car would get ticketed or towed lol well the meter was already paid for up to 1.5hrs! The actual visit went well, I had to do dressing changes and teach about one of the patients conditions. 

My next visit was uncomplicated, just a little lady who had back surgery and was doing well. I taught her about s/s of TIA and we talked about foods to help with constipation.

My last visit was a noncompliant diabetic. He was doing well today though, we talked about what foods to eat to keep his blood sugars regulated. He seemed very happy to have the handouts and get ideas on what to do diet wise.

At the end of the day I stopped to chat with my director. I wanted to know if I was doing ok and she says I'm doing great especially for per diem. I was worried that since I only work 1-2 days a week and sometimes have less than 4 patients I felt like I wasn't helping enough. She told me to relax and that she is very happy as is the other staff to have me.

Off to pick up some kids now :)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

A lovely day

As always my day starts with me feeling anxious and questioning whether or not I want to be a home care nurse. I know I want to do it, but the old doubtful tiffany still lives inside me :( anyways stopping in the office is usually a little annoying because the nurses always seem stressed and full of complaints. I like to get my assignment and then leave. I started off with 5 possible patients, but one didn't answer the phone and the other asked if the visit could be postponed until the next day. So this leaves me with 3 patients. Lucky for me the were all within minutes of each other, so my day started at 10 and by 12:20 I was done seeing patients :) since I'm getting much better at revisits, I was able to compete my charting in the car before leaving for the next patient. The only thing I had to do in the office was write a note for one patient because I spoke with her daughter who requested we only see the patient  after 2.

I enjoyed my work day and felt very comfortable in each patients home. At one house I sat on the floor with my legs crossed :) she was hard of hearing and her furniture was too far apart for me to sit close to her. I even enjoyed teaching this time :) I was so pleased that one patients family member asked me about a blood pressure medicine and magnesium and I was able to answer them and help! I always carry my ipad and it came in handy when I had to discuss a surgery with a patient. The office didn't have a printed handout so I just pulled the info up for the patient and we discussed it.

Tomorrow I'm working again and we have the dreaded care conference, lol. I'm also scheduled to do an admission which I am very optimistic about :)

Lastly, my manager mentioned to me last week that a position would be opening up for a per diem case manager.... Not sure if I mentioned it before but if it's the right opportunity I may be able to decrease my hours at the hospital! Cool beans. I'm remaining open and optimistic. Life is good... 

Oh yeah, I finally got my ID lol next they need to get me my phone!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Missed visits

I was supposed to see 4 patients today and ended up only seeing 2! One patient had a dr appt and per Medicare rules ( at least that's what I'm told) we aren't allowed to visit patients the same day as dr appts, it makes sense. I couldn't see the other patient because I couldn't reach her to schedule the visit. Initially i was happy, I would have such a short day but then I started thinking about how little $$$ I made and questioned whether it was worth my efforts. Funny thing is, I'm not even doing home care for the $ I just want to explore a different area of nursing. I also want to someday do home are full time and working per diem is a great " trial run".  The patients I did see today were easy, they were just " teaching" visits where I go in assess the patient and teach then about a medication and/ or condition. I enjoyed chatting with my patients and felt very appreciated as both patients seemed happy to have me and asked questions about the topics I presented.

I had a couple days off from my hospital job this week and I am dreading going back Friday. Taking this time off and finally being off orientation in homecare I am really contemplating leaving the hospital. Still my biggest concern is the finances, I would take a huge pay cut, then I also worry about the stress of doing homecare full time. I don't want to be like some of the nurses at the agency who say they are out seeing patients at 8pm, or making phone calls hours after leaving the office for the day. With that said I just have to be patient and continue learn the ropes of homecare.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

My first admission

Yesterday I finally did it! I did my first start of care (SOC). My day started with our required care conferences where we discuss all of our patients, and then we had a staff meeting. I was annoyed because the meeting was almost 2 hrs ! I wanted to see my patient as early as possible because I knew it would take me a couple hours to do the full admission. After the meeting I scheduled my patient who said I could come at 12, this gave me over an hour to make sure I had all the paperwork and enough back ground info on her to do a good job.

I arrive at her house and she and her family were lovely and inviting. Unfortunately, this patient was pretty young and had a recent craniotomy (procedure involving the brain) to remove a mass. She was left with some physical limitations after the procedure which made her home bound. 

I started the admission with making sure she understood what our company offers. Sometimes patients think they are receiving around the clock nursing care, maid services and all kind of crazy stuff. Lucky for me she was well informed and knew exactly what we were offering, so we went ahead and signed consents. After the "business" part was complete I went ahead with collecting her medical history. This conversation tool a good 30-40 minutes and discussing her medications took just as long. Lucky for me, she wasn't on a ton of meds, because I have to document every single med she takes. Once I gathered all my information, I started my assessment which didn't take more than 5 minutes. I Tried my best to  chart as much as I could while I was in her home, but I'm not familiar with the paperwork so it would have taken way too long to do it in the home. The total visit ended up being 1hr 40minutes. We are paid a flat rate and admissions are supposed to only take 1 hr.... Lol

Now the hard part was waiting for me. I had to get all the paperwork completed and be out of the office by 3:30 to meet my daughter at the bus stop. I get back to the office and no one was available to help me because one of the nurses went home sick and my preceptor had to take her patients. My DON (manager or director of nursing) couldn't help because she was in a meeting. I was left to figure it out on my own. Most of the OASIS wasn't bad at all, I just had to simply fill in my assessment. I notice questions were asked over and over, and that was annoying. But I know it's made that way to make sure we are being consistent and honest... I guess that's why.  Finally at 3pm my manager was available to help, so she was able to help me with some of the documenting. But it was now 320 and I had to get ready to leave. Before I left the offic I called the patients DR and made sure she would sign our home care orders. I spoke with the secretary and was told they would call me back with an answer.

I make in home by 340 and just sat in my car until my daughter arrived. I was just about done the chart! After my daughter arrived we went to pick up my son. Once we were all home it was 4pm and I had to take the chart back by 5 for payroll!!!! I was really stressed now, because I knew I had to finish and my kids were being normal kids harassing me lol. I had to keep telling myself to get it done and if something is wrong I can always fix it later ( that's what my manager told me) this eased my anxiety and stress levels . By 440 we were leaving the house to drop off the chart. I made it back In perfect timing and handed the chart in and again my manager assured me that it was my first admission and I shouldn't worry. She said we would go over it together next week :)

Now that I think about it, I had a pretty stressful day but in the end I was able to pick my kids up and take them to the office with me. I still got my work done. I'm pretty sure it gets a little easier too. I spent the whole day working on this admission,but I'm glad I finally got to do one. I'm sure the next time I do one I will be much more comfortable.

I'm so excited to learn to be a proficient home care nurse. Right now I'm in the phase where I don't trust my assessment or anything I do. I think I'm doing an awful job and question whether I am really helping my patients.  I haven't received and negative feedback so I guess I'm doing ok,but I know I have so much to learn. For the first time in my nursing career,I really want to take my own time to invest in educating myself on my new role. I'm thinking of ordering a home care reference book to help with documenting. I may had said it before that this home health company teaches just by doing and doesn't t really rely on polices or written guidelines.  It worries me a little bit,  but I also look at it like there's room for improvement and I would like to help with that :)

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Meant to be?

I'm a big believer of things happening because it's meant to be. This is a random post but last night I was thinking of how I ended up working for the home health agency. I don't remember exactly what pushed me to submit applications but I applied for the home health position, per diem hospital position, and a wellness nurse job. I knew I really wanted the home health position as I wanted to get out the hospital and felt like home health may be my niche. I applied to the other places just as a back up. I didn't even get phone calls from the other two jobs! Ironically, I get a call for the home health interview and they ask when I could come in. It just so happens that week my husband and I were both off Friday so I asked to come in then. This was rare because we normally work opposite schedules to accomadate my daughters school schedule.

It took the agency a few weeks to call me back and offer the position. During that time I questioned if they found someone else or if it just wasn't the right job for me. I decided if I wasn't hired, it probably meant that this extra job in addition to my full time job and graduate school would be too much.

Fast forward to my first day of work, which didn't happen weeks until after the offer. This was perfect because my first graduate class was over. I had time to focus on my graduate class on its own and now I had time to focus on my new position. When time came to enroll for the next semester of school, I reluctantly enrolled but ended up dropping the class. It wasn't an easy decision, but I think I only registered for classes because I was desperate for a change or something new in nursing. As I had time to think in between semesters I realized grad school didn't excite me or inspire me. Instead I was stressed and the class didn't even start! I'm so glad I dropped the class. 

Anyways back to things being meant to be... Another thing that worked out perfectly is child care. When I was working my home health position I had to bring my mom over my house to spend the night and watch my son while I worked. She hated being at my house because she's a city girl so I would have to drive her 30 miles all the was back home after working and driving all day. It was a lot of stress and I got to the point where I thought I would have to stop working for the home health agency. That is until I found an affordable, flexible preschool for my son. Now, I had already inquired at three other schools but they were all way to expensive and only 1/3 offered part time and it was still too expensive! Again I was discouraged and questioned was it all worth it. I had already wanted my son in preschool because he's 4 and is a November baby so he won't go to kindergarten until he's almost 6! Things always work out when it's meant to be because I found a school for my son that's affordable and flexible! Of course it's a good environment too lol. Anyways this school is about a minute down the road from me and they offer before and after care to my daughter school! This is great because I can now really think about full time home care!

My sons first day was Friday and I also worked that day. I was so nervous. I was afraid he'd have an awful day. I had already planned my work day to where I would be able to pick him up early if needed. I called to check on him after a few hours and he was fine! I continued seeing patients, finished my charting and picked my boy up at 3 :)

I feel so blessed because I know things are working out for me because I ask God daily for his direction and blessing. I know things won't go my way, but Gods way.  

When things are meant to be and Gods will, it will be done! There's just no other way

Friday, February 7, 2014

Adventures in Home Care

After almost a week off from homecare , I returned today. My day went exactly as planned which is highly unusual in homecare. My son had his first day of preschool so I was very nervous to work as I expected I would have to pick him up early if he couldn't handle the whole day. I planned on telling my agency I would only take 3 patients as this would give me enough time to see everyone, drive, and chart. My DON told me I'd be receiving 3 patients from our case manager and I was pleased with that. That is until the case manager tried to give me 4 patients, I kindly told her I was only taking 3 and her reply was "well the DON said you'd do 4 let me go check with her" she returns and says exactly what I told her in the first place. Lol anyways I was very proud of myself for sticking up and speaking my mind because the old me would have just took that 4th patient and stressed myself out the whole day worrying that I wouldn't make it home in time to meet my daughter at the bus stop.

On to the field work, my first case was about 16 miles from the office. I arrived there on time as planned. The visit went well, the patient and family were very pleasant and thankful for my care. I did a little education on the patients disease and a new med she was prescribed. I also had to make my first call to an MD and this went smoothly as well, the MD got right back to me, so I was able to let the patient know the update plan of care within hours of seeing her :) I was pretty much done the visit within 20 minutes but a very concerned family member happened to call and wanted to speak with me just as I was about to leave. I spoke with the family and the vist ended up being 50 minutes! But I was still on time to see my next patient. This visit was just an observation/follow up. I just had to go and literally check on the patient. I was in and out in about 20 minutes :) thankfully the patient was doing well.  After seeing my second patient I had a whole hr before I was due to see my last patient. I thought about calling and asking if I could come early, but decided that wasn't necessary. Instead I drove to a parking lot and charted on my first 2 patients, I made it to patient number 3 ten minutes early. This visit went smoothly as well, no issues. This was a teaching visit and the patient seemed to be doing well at home. I did my assessment and teaching and finished within about 20 minutes. My charting wasn't completed in the home because I could tell this lady just wanted me out of her house lol. 

I arrived back to the office around 1330 and finished all my charts, chatted with my DON and got all my questions asked. finally my email acct was live so I was able to email report to the case manager to let her know all was well with the patients I seen today.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised with how well my day went. I still worry that I didn't do a good enough job, even though I'm pretty sure I did ok. I'm not feeling all that confident in documenting goals and writing out why the patient is still home bound, I really love the one on one patient care and I feel like I am really doing nursing care as opposed to the hustle and bustle of hospital nursing. I have time to sit and chat about anything the patient may be concerned about, I get to educate my patients, meet lovely families, see beautiful homes, eat when I want and enjoy the beautiful sunshine. My work day started at 9 am and I was home by 3! I know this isn't typical of home care especially full time, but knowing as a per diem nurse I can pretty much have everyday like this is very enticing. As I get more comfortable I will of course take more patients. I think I can defitenly do 4 now as I am much better with the charting. The hardest part for me so far was planning out my day.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Adventures in Home Care

I recently started a new position as a home health nurse. I started my day feeling very anxious at home before leaving for work. I was questioning why I applied and accepted the position and started feeling bad for leaving my kids more. All of a sudden it hit me that I signed up for this! Lol this is what I wanted. I got myself together and headed out. 

The day in the office started with some confusion because everyone forgot I was working lol. My original preceptor wasn't available so I went out with a very overwhelmed full time case manager. We did an admission and a regular dressing change visit. The admission was interesting because we were told the patient was still in an assisted living facility so we traveled there...  we get there and the patient was discharged to home. We make our way to the patients home and get started with the admission. We first presented the company and what we offer and asked if the patient would be interested. Once an agreement was made the paperwork started. My preceptor  was excellent, she was able  to assess, teach, and document all at the same time. Our patient was so happy with the visit as we were able to educate her on fall precautions and nutrition information, I left feeling again very fortunate to have found a position in home care and very excited for my future. I love the independence and professionalism involved with home care. We pretty much make our own schedule and  I feel like I am actually a nurse as opposed to the hospital where I just feel like an employee.  

I also notice I am not nervous when I'm working home care. There used to be a time where I was scared to drive to any new place alone. I was always afraid of getting lost. I can remember years ago when I was a nursing assistant I started a home care job and got all the way to the patients house and was too scared to do the actual visit. Even the two visits I did on my own, I didn't feel this way. I'm not sure where this bravery and confidence is coming from but I am embracing it. Perhaps it's my yoga practice, maybe I've matured, maybe the time is just right and this is what I am supposed to be doing? I guess it could be all of those things :) 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Changes... good ones

Since discovering yoga, i have been obsessed with learning more. I now incorporate ayurveda in my daily life. So much has happened over the last few months. I went from wanting to quit my job as a RN to be yoga teacher, lol I then was obsessed with becoming an ayurveda practioner. Now the latest obsession is going back to school! I discovered a program online for Advanced Holistic Nursing, which will grant me a MSN and make me eligible to sit for certification as Advanced holistic nurse. I have already completed my application and submitted my transcripts. I even started working on my nursing philosophy. I feel happy now knowing that there is a way to still be a nurse , but to also practice holistically. I am very excited for this program especially after speaking with the program coordinator this morning :) I have my reservations because holistic nursing, yoga, and alternative medicine are like taboo for a lot of people. This program is also fairly new. I know coworkers are gonna think Im crazy when I tell them what I have decided to go to school for, but I really feel that this is my passion. For months I thought I had to abandon nursing to pursue holistic health. I totally forgot what nursing essentially is, We are holistic! Its just hard to treat the person and consider other forms of therapy with the current state of healthcare. I,however am not gonna be shy or embarrassed to be the "first" to pursue this. I do think its possible to incorporate holistic care in modern medicine.

Grad school drop out?

A few months ago I got the crazy idea to go back to school for my masters degree in nursing. I wasn't exactly sure why I made the decision but I can think of a few possible reasons: I always feel like I should be working towards something -I was bored.... Since I couldn't start yoga school - it's free, courtesy of my current job - I was curious so many of my coworkers have gone back and most finish and I just wanted to see if I could do it Well, I passed the class with an "A" I actually enjoyed the class too. But when I registered for my second course I just didn't feel right. I knew I didn't want to take it, but felt like since I started I had to finish.... Well long story short I decided to drop the class a couple days after it started. I attempted to do some of the assignments but my " heart" just wasn't into it. I was frustrated and annoyed and couldn't help but think of the many other ways I could be spending my free time. I'm not saying grad school won't ever happen for me, but I just realize that now is not right time.

At this time in my life I really want to focus on self study. Since starting yoga I have learned so much about my life and am realizing that I have so much potential. I think yoga is what's helping me realize what I really want to do with my life. I want to devote my free time doing something that I love! What is it that I love? My garden, yoga, making homemade products, trying new recipes, researching holistic nursing.... 

So what exactly are my goals since grad school isn't happening right now???
Finish reading books that I already purchased 
Yoga teacher training (sept 2014)
Work per diem as a home care nurse
Develop a daily yoga/Ayurveda routine
Journal more
Blog more
Holistic nurse certification